1. Dick Cheney wishing Obama good luck on his speech.

2. Ruth Bader Ginsberg jumping up to give Obama a great big hug. So cute! Plus, old lady, since when could you move so fast?

3. Gabby Giffords hugging Obama.

4. “For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country.”

5. “We got rid of one rule from 40 years ago that could have forced some dairy farmers to spend $10,000 a year proving that they could contain a spill — because milk was somehow classified as an oil. With a rule like that, I guess it was worth crying over spilled milk.”

6. Obama shoving his recess appointment of Robert Cordray in the Republicans’ faces.

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Apparently, after having realized he had been shot, he self-diagnosed that the bullet had not punctured his lung and continued giving the speech … starting by apologizing for the interruption by saying, “Oh, I’ve just been shot,” and completing the speech while blood was pouring out of his chest.
Teddy was a bad ass mofo.
“Bullet? NBD CUZ I’M TEDDY MOTHAFUCKIN ROOSEVELT AND IDGAF.”
Swag.
True facts. Teddy was pretty boss.
Can I vote for him?
Damn right. Badass.
Cracked basically turned me into a Teddy Roosevelt fan.